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    2008 - 07.17
    Uncle Paul

    Uncle Paul

    As all of you know from my posting, my oldest daughter, Denise, was married in May. And being a mom, I was proud and full of love at the lovely woman Denise had become. But at the same time, it also made me remember some of the family that has passed on. I miss them daily, and always hold them dear to my heart.

    Towards the end of the festivities, my son, Paul, who will go on occasional rants about nothing at all, or maybe an subject he holds either in high esteem or complete contempt, started one of his usual rants. No, I really can’t say usual rants, because what he was doing was ranting about how he was going to be the next Uncle Paul.

    Which got me to thinking about my Uncle Paul. He was my grandmother’s brother. And throughout all the years that I knew him, I never heard a bad word said about him. Not one word. Uncle Paul was born and raised in Bradford, PA. My understanding was that there were 5 children in all and that they had been orphaned. I believe an aunt had raised them. I knew most of the family. Two of my uncles lived in California, and one of them, was a spiritual minister. My Aunt Dottie lived down in Texas. Nannie lived in the house where I live now. And Uncle Paul and his wife, my Aunt Edie, lived on Salisbury St., in the city. They had one son, Richard, who I gave the name of Uncle Tib.

    Uncle Paul always had a smile or a joke. He also had a heart of gold and seemed to love everyone he met. When he was younger, and I was just a little kid, I can always remember him with a cigar. Now, Aunt Edie wouldn’t let Uncle Paul smoke in the apartment. She either made him go outside or down in the basement to his workshop. Uncle Paul loved to tinker. It was always so cool to go over there and watch him. And of course, I also got to play dress-up with all of Aunt Edie’s pretty dresses and costume jewelry. Don’t forget this was back in the day of women stayed home and the husband’s went out to work. Aunt Edie ended up with a job at a jewelry store. She loved jewelry and it seemed like a natural fit for her. Uncle Paul I believe, worked at Stromberg-Carlson and had at one time, owned/ran a grocery in Pennsylvania.

    My Favorite Uncle

    All of my memories of Uncle Paul are good ones. He and my Gramps went fishing every year to the 1000 Islands. The place was called Chippewa Bay and they stayed at the same cottages every year. My folks and I went with them sometimes. Uncle Paul had a special name for the first tug of his pole of the year. I think it was something like a tunk. He would beam from ear to ear. Uncle Paul and Gramps would get talking about the “old” days. The stories they would tell. About bears and walking miles to get somewhere, the chores they had to do, etc.

    We would have family gatherings. Now both Nannie and Aunt Edie were excellent cooks. So every time we got together, the food was heavenly. Uncle Paul would eat his fill, then pat his round belly, push his chair back, grin at his wife and sister and say the famous words, this is how a man should feel all the time. We all knew is was coming, and we all looked forward to it every time.

    Then there were the trips to Florida after both Uncle Paul and Gramps retired. Nannie and Gramps, Aunt Edie and Uncle Paul. They would spend at least 3 weeks or more down in Florida. My Uncle Dick (who I named Pete) lived down there with his wife and 5 children. Gramps and Uncle Paul would like the beach, watching the fish jump, going to interesting places, seeing the grandkids, etc. But now Nannie and Aunt Edie loved to go into the novelty shops. That is what they lived for down there! Visualize this-Gramps in a car or motor home, traveling from here to there, when all of a sudden, you’d hear-stop go back, you just missed another shop. They would come back up north with sun tans and the men carrying bags and bags of souvenirs.

    This foursome took many trips together, not only to Florida, but even just day trips in NYS. They were inseparable. Places to go, things to see. Both Uncle Paul and Gramps loved to learn. They loved knowledge. It was so neat to go with them someplace as a little girl. I would listen to them as they talked. They truly knew a little about a lot of things and a lot about even more things.

    And the jokes!!! Uncle Paul loved to read the Reader’s Digest. We would be sitting around and all of a sudden, you’d hear Uncle Paul say have you heard the one about………and then launch into the joke. And he had a very good memory so he never forgot the punchline!!!!! Even as he got older, he still would tell us the jokes.

    I’m sure that there were sometimes sad things that happened to my Uncle Paul, but I never heard about them. He talked about living to be 100 years old. He wanted to be able to celebrate that birthday.

    Sometime in his 70′s, he decided to quit smoking cigars. He looked at us and told us that those things would kill him someday. And he just plain quit. Now as we were growing up, we had always given him cigars for Christmas and his birthday-which was January 1. So when he quit, we figured we’d have to find something else. Well, he always wore suspenders, so yep, you got it, that’s what we bought him.

    Now I had finally grown up, gotten married, and had my children. The joke in the family was that Uncle Paul had gone to his sisters and offered them $10 if they would name a son after him. They never took him up on it. Well, my last pregnancy was so different from my first 2 I knew it had to be a boy. I told Uncle Paul, if it’s a boy, I’ll name him after you. When he told me the offer still stood on the money, I told him I didn’t want it, I just wanted to honor him. Well, Paul was born May 13, 1986. His full name is Paul Robert-Paul for Uncle Paul, and Robert for my dad. Paul was born 7 days after my dad’s birthday.

    So now we have Uncle Paul and little Paul. Whenever the family would get together, Uncle Paul would play with Little Paul. And one of the most favorite pastimes was pulling Uncle Paul’s suspenders. We finally had to stop them. I’m sure my Uncle went home battered and bruised, but he always had a smile and a laugh and lots of love.

    My children were so lucky to have Uncle Paul. Unfortunately they didn’t have Aunt Edie as long. She ended up in a nursing home for 5 years before she passed. But Uncle Paul and his son, my Uncle Tib would be there. Sitting with her, talking with her. Sending their love to her. When she finally passed, we worried about what Uncle Paul would do. He mourned, but he would go places, do things. He kept himself busy. And he kept Uncle Tib, Nannie and Gramps busy too.

    As the years rolled by, my kids started getting older, dividing their time more between their dad, and friends and significant others. And what had once been a foursome, turned into a threesome. When Gramps passed away, it was just Uncle Paul and Nannie-oh, they kept themselves busy. They’d go out to lunch almost every Saturday. Their favorite was Hogan’s Hideaway on Park Ave. Uncle Tib would drive and they would have an awesome time. I went too at times. It was so much fun. And then Nannie passed away. Now it was only Uncle Paul. But this is Uncle Paul we’re talking about. So Uncle Paul and Uncle Tib and Uncle Tib’s wife Carol, would do things together.

    Right before Uncle Paul turned 100 years old, he had a heart attack. He told us he was tired and wasn’t sure why he had wanted to make it to 100-but being Uncle Paul, was still proud of that fact. He went from hospital to nursing home. Where we celebrated his 100th birthday. Here he was in bed, surrounded by those of us still breathing and by those that had passed away. He was beaming from ear to ear! He had made it.

    We got the call sometime I believe on January 16 or 17th. Uncle Paul had passed away. Very peacefully. At the funeral home, my son Paul, had bought a cigar and Paul walked up to the casket, and put the cigar in Uncle Paul’s suit pocket. Paul had put it into the exact one that Uncle Paul had always put it in. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. It was the end of an era.

    To give you an idea on what kind of man Uncle Paul really was-this is something his son had written to me: ” I had a backstage view of him all my life, and he was the most remarkable person I have ever known. His positive and cheerful attitude, no matter what was happening at the time was nothing short of amazing. His honesty and desire to help others made him a one-of-a-kind person. Wish there were more like him!” Hope you don’t mind, Uncle Tib-but you put it so well :)

    My Favorite Paul!

    My Favorite Paul!

    Now did I say it was the end of an era? Think back to the wedding and Little Paul’s rants. As a few of us were standing outside the reception hall, there goes Paul on another rant. He had looked at a bunch of us that were out there and said, wait!!!!! When Denise and Dave have kids-I’m going to be Uncle Paul!!!!! He went on to say that he was going to be just like his Uncle Paul. Full of love, and fun. He will teach his nieces and nephews all the good things in life, he’ll take them places and do things with them. He’ll take what he’s learned from his dad and me, but most of all, he’ll take what Uncle Paul taught him and be the best person he can be.

    So now all Uncle Paul the second has to wait for is one of his sisters to start having babies. The girls have told me they are not going to give in to Paul’s demands for at least a year or two! For the mean time, he’ll just have to wait and hone his Uncle Paul skills.

    Paul And Family.

    Paul And Family.

    To my son, the “new” Uncle Paul, may you be blessed with all the good qualities that made our Uncle Paul special.

    And to my Uncle Paul, you are missed every day. It was an honor to be your great niece. Thank you for your love and laughter.

    I know somewhere on the other side of the veil, Nannie and Aunt Edie are telling Gramps and Uncle Paul-stop, there’s another shop. And I know that Uncle Paul and Gramps are sitting in their boat with their fishing poles in the water, just taking it easy, waiting for that first tunk!

    May God Bless you, and Thank you God, for giving us not one, but two Uncle Paul’s in one lifetime.

    Till next time.

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    3 Responses to “Uncle Paul”

    1. J. Burkhart says:

      I love your portrayals on the remembrance of your family and subsequent past experiences. I especially love how your writings bring it all to life as if it were my own.

      Love you Sweet Heart.

    2. Jaime Cox says:

      Thank you so much for sharing that precious story!It’s amazing how one memory might not have any special significance,but put a whole slew of them together,and they make up the fabric of ones life! I certianly hope someone honors me with a story like that once I check in on the other side.Some people are literally just the pure essance of love-as was your Uncle Paul.You were so blessed to experience someone that special.I think that souls like that choose to come here to this “crash course in hell”if you will,to constantly remind us that all can be overcome,when you only put out positive energy.Souls like that bring a very special message…and if we pay attention we get the lesson.Love. My mom who just recently passed this June used to say “I am love”. or “be love” when ever we came to her furious w/someone,and wanted to vent.Her message was simple… love isn’t an action,it’s an energy that creates action.Negativity is an energy that creates reaction.Be love.Don’t judge,belittle,hate,discriminate,…be love.She also used to say “Is your highest commitment to be Right, or to be Happy?”Lotta wisdom in that Question!And somehow always leads back to the answer…”Be love”.Sounds like your Uncle Paul certianly did know a little about alot of things,and ALOT ABOUT EVEN MORE!I thank God for souls like that who exist in my reality,without them we get too irrogant,self centered,and appathetic.And they help keep us grounded to “Source”,showing us that doing the “next right thing”, is always better when done from love.Your Uncle Paul created action w/his love energy…hence your son Paul wanting to be “the next Uncle Paul”, full of that same love light and laughter as the Late Uncle Paul.Positive Action.What a beautiful thing to leave behind!Just knowing souls like that make me want to be a better person.Thanx again for sharing that very inspirational story,God bless you and yours and remember…Be Love!

    3. Linda Sue Reade Yorgason says:

      How strange..My dad was born in Corry PA, worked for strongburg carlson for years untill we landed in Sacramento Calif. His name was Paul Radar Reade. His mothers name was Theodora Hunt Reade.

      Linda Sue Reade