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    Uncle Paul


    2008 - 07.17
    Uncle Paul

    Uncle Paul

    As all of you know from my posting, my oldest daughter, Denise, was married in May. And being a mom, I was proud and full of love at the lovely woman Denise had become. But at the same time, it also made me remember some of the family that has passed on. I miss them daily, and always hold them dear to my heart.

    Towards the end of the festivities, my son, Paul, who will go on occasional rants about nothing at all, or maybe an subject he holds either in high esteem or complete contempt, started one of his usual rants. No, I really can’t say usual rants, because what he was doing was ranting about how he was going to be the next Uncle Paul.

    Which got me to thinking about my Uncle Paul. He was my grandmother’s brother. And throughout all the years that I knew him, I never heard a bad word said about him. Not one word. Uncle Paul was born and raised in Bradford, PA. My understanding was that there were 5 children in all and that they had been orphaned. I believe an aunt had raised them. I knew most of the family. Two of my uncles lived in California, and one of them, was a spiritual minister. My Aunt Dottie lived down in Texas. Nannie lived in the house where I live now. And Uncle Paul and his wife, my Aunt Edie, lived on Salisbury St., in the city. They had one son, Richard, who I gave the name of Uncle Tib.

    Uncle Paul always had a smile or a joke. He also had a heart of gold and seemed to love everyone he met. When he was younger, and I was just a little kid, I can always remember him with a cigar. Now, Aunt Edie wouldn’t let Uncle Paul smoke in the apartment. She either made him go outside or down in the basement to his workshop. Uncle Paul loved to tinker. It was always so cool to go over there and watch him. And of course, I also got to play dress-up with all of Aunt Edie’s pretty dresses and costume jewelry. Don’t forget this was back in the day of women stayed home and the husband’s went out to work. Aunt Edie ended up with a job at a jewelry store. She loved jewelry and it seemed like a natural fit for her. Uncle Paul I believe, worked at Stromberg-Carlson and had at one time, owned/ran a grocery in Pennsylvania.

    My Favorite Uncle

    All of my memories of Uncle Paul are good ones. He and my Gramps went fishing every year to the 1000 Islands. The place was called Chippewa Bay and they stayed at the same cottages every year. My folks and I went with them sometimes. Uncle Paul had a special name for the first tug of his pole of the year. I think it was something like a tunk. He would beam from ear to ear. Uncle Paul and Gramps would get talking about the “old” days. The stories they would tell. About bears and walking miles to get somewhere, the chores they had to do, etc.

    We would have family gatherings. Now both Nannie and Aunt Edie were excellent cooks. So every time we got together, the food was heavenly. Uncle Paul would eat his fill, then pat his round belly, push his chair back, grin at his wife and sister and say the famous words, this is how a man should feel all the time. We all knew is was coming, and we all looked forward to it every time.

    Then there were the trips to Florida after both Uncle Paul and Gramps retired. Nannie and Gramps, Aunt Edie and Uncle Paul. They would spend at least 3 weeks or more down in Florida. My Uncle Dick (who I named Pete) lived down there with his wife and 5 children. Gramps and Uncle Paul would like the beach, watching the fish jump, going to interesting places, seeing the grandkids, etc. But now Nannie and Aunt Edie loved to go into the novelty shops. That is what they lived for down there! Visualize this-Gramps in a car or motor home, traveling from here to there, when all of a sudden, you’d hear-stop go back, you just missed another shop. They would come back up north with sun tans and the men carrying bags and bags of souvenirs.

    This foursome took many trips together, not only to Florida, but even just day trips in NYS. They were inseparable. Places to go, things to see. Both Uncle Paul and Gramps loved to learn. They loved knowledge. It was so neat to go with them someplace as a little girl. I would listen to them as they talked. They truly knew a little about a lot of things and a lot about even more things.

    And the jokes!!! Uncle Paul loved to read the Reader’s Digest. We would be sitting around and all of a sudden, you’d hear Uncle Paul say have you heard the one about………and then launch into the joke. And he had a very good memory so he never forgot the punchline!!!!! Even as he got older, he still would tell us the jokes.

    I’m sure that there were sometimes sad things that happened to my Uncle Paul, but I never heard about them. He talked about living to be 100 years old. He wanted to be able to celebrate that birthday.

    Sometime in his 70′s, he decided to quit smoking cigars. He looked at us and told us that those things would kill him someday. And he just plain quit. Now as we were growing up, we had always given him cigars for Christmas and his birthday-which was January 1. So when he quit, we figured we’d have to find something else. Well, he always wore suspenders, so yep, you got it, that’s what we bought him.

    Now I had finally grown up, gotten married, and had my children. The joke in the family was that Uncle Paul had gone to his sisters and offered them $10 if they would name a son after him. They never took him up on it. Well, my last pregnancy was so different from my first 2 I knew it had to be a boy. I told Uncle Paul, if it’s a boy, I’ll name him after you. When he told me the offer still stood on the money, I told him I didn’t want it, I just wanted to honor him. Well, Paul was born May 13, 1986. His full name is Paul Robert-Paul for Uncle Paul, and Robert for my dad. Paul was born 7 days after my dad’s birthday.

    So now we have Uncle Paul and little Paul. Whenever the family would get together, Uncle Paul would play with Little Paul. And one of the most favorite pastimes was pulling Uncle Paul’s suspenders. We finally had to stop them. I’m sure my Uncle went home battered and bruised, but he always had a smile and a laugh and lots of love.

    My children were so lucky to have Uncle Paul. Unfortunately they didn’t have Aunt Edie as long. She ended up in a nursing home for 5 years before she passed. But Uncle Paul and his son, my Uncle Tib would be there. Sitting with her, talking with her. Sending their love to her. When she finally passed, we worried about what Uncle Paul would do. He mourned, but he would go places, do things. He kept himself busy. And he kept Uncle Tib, Nannie and Gramps busy too.

    As the years rolled by, my kids started getting older, dividing their time more between their dad, and friends and significant others. And what had once been a foursome, turned into a threesome. When Gramps passed away, it was just Uncle Paul and Nannie-oh, they kept themselves busy. They’d go out to lunch almost every Saturday. Their favorite was Hogan’s Hideaway on Park Ave. Uncle Tib would drive and they would have an awesome time. I went too at times. It was so much fun. And then Nannie passed away. Now it was only Uncle Paul. But this is Uncle Paul we’re talking about. So Uncle Paul and Uncle Tib and Uncle Tib’s wife Carol, would do things together.

    Right before Uncle Paul turned 100 years old, he had a heart attack. He told us he was tired and wasn’t sure why he had wanted to make it to 100-but being Uncle Paul, was still proud of that fact. He went from hospital to nursing home. Where we celebrated his 100th birthday. Here he was in bed, surrounded by those of us still breathing and by those that had passed away. He was beaming from ear to ear! He had made it.

    We got the call sometime I believe on January 16 or 17th. Uncle Paul had passed away. Very peacefully. At the funeral home, my son Paul, had bought a cigar and Paul walked up to the casket, and put the cigar in Uncle Paul’s suit pocket. Paul had put it into the exact one that Uncle Paul had always put it in. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. It was the end of an era.

    To give you an idea on what kind of man Uncle Paul really was-this is something his son had written to me: ” I had a backstage view of him all my life, and he was the most remarkable person I have ever known. His positive and cheerful attitude, no matter what was happening at the time was nothing short of amazing. His honesty and desire to help others made him a one-of-a-kind person. Wish there were more like him!” Hope you don’t mind, Uncle Tib-but you put it so well :)

    My Favorite Paul!

    My Favorite Paul!

    Now did I say it was the end of an era? Think back to the wedding and Little Paul’s rants. As a few of us were standing outside the reception hall, there goes Paul on another rant. He had looked at a bunch of us that were out there and said, wait!!!!! When Denise and Dave have kids-I’m going to be Uncle Paul!!!!! He went on to say that he was going to be just like his Uncle Paul. Full of love, and fun. He will teach his nieces and nephews all the good things in life, he’ll take them places and do things with them. He’ll take what he’s learned from his dad and me, but most of all, he’ll take what Uncle Paul taught him and be the best person he can be.

    So now all Uncle Paul the second has to wait for is one of his sisters to start having babies. The girls have told me they are not going to give in to Paul’s demands for at least a year or two! For the mean time, he’ll just have to wait and hone his Uncle Paul skills.

    Paul And Family.

    Paul And Family.

    To my son, the “new” Uncle Paul, may you be blessed with all the good qualities that made our Uncle Paul special.

    And to my Uncle Paul, you are missed every day. It was an honor to be your great niece. Thank you for your love and laughter.

    I know somewhere on the other side of the veil, Nannie and Aunt Edie are telling Gramps and Uncle Paul-stop, there’s another shop. And I know that Uncle Paul and Gramps are sitting in their boat with their fishing poles in the water, just taking it easy, waiting for that first tunk!

    May God Bless you, and Thank you God, for giving us not one, but two Uncle Paul’s in one lifetime.

    Till next time.

    May 24, 2008


    2008 - 06.25

    Here we go!What a day that was. It marked a day of celebration, love, kindness and so many other things. But before I tell you exactly what went on that day, let me share with you how it all came about.

    Two people met. Now they had seen each other around, after all he was a bartender, she was working and going out with friends. He had seen her in Oxford’s a few times. He had noticed her, she had noticed him. But, you know how it goes, they would say hi, how are you?, and that would be about it. Until the night that he was outside having a smoke, and her sister just happened to be outside along with her! He looked at the sister and told her, you know, I’d really like to get to know you’re sister better.

    Let’s give them names at this point to make it a little easier, he would be Dave, she would be Denise, and the sister would be Susan!

    So, like I was saying, Dave told Susan that he liked Denise and would like to get to know her better. Denise was standing close by and said well, you could just say it to me. The rest, as they say, is history.

    Dave did ask Denise for a date, they went, enjoyed each others company, Then came the eveningFirst Kiss. that I finally got to meet Dave. I’d heard so much about him and all good stuff, too. Don’t you know, Denise picked the evening that I was having a psychic development class. I had about 6 people in the class, so when Denise and Dave walked in, not only did the poor guy have to meet Mom, but also the class. Dave took it well, though. After they had left, I looked at everyone and said, he’s going to be my son-in-law.

    Let’s go forward to the day Dave called me. He asked for my blessing to ask for my daughter’s hand in marriage. I broke down and cried with tears of joy. And I respected Dave for that phone call. It surprised the heck out of me, but it made me very happy. Dave had also called her dad and had done the same thing.

    Then we got the phone call!! Denise is laughing and crying at the same time, saying they were engaged! When I told her Dave had called me, she said that she figures she was the only one that didn’t know. He had taken her to Oxfords that night, so half the bar knew what was going to happen! :)

    Then they set the date-May 24, 2008. Ahh, the preparations start, the dresses, the flowers, the wedding party, the reception place, etc.

    Denise and Dave did all the planning, and I have to tell you, they did a wonderful job.

    The wedding and reception was at The Carriage House in Gates. It’s a beautiful place inside and out.

    Whisper in my ear.Thursday, May 22, the rehearsal-it was the you sit here, you walk there, no not like that, go there, etc. when we all thought we knew, the wedding planner said let’s try it just one more time-and she told us, when you see me nod-just do what I said. We all decided that when she nodded, we’d probably all take off! :)

    Friday, May 23, the rehearsal picnic-yes, a picnic. It was a super idea-we all relaxed and ate and drank! And the best part, Denise and Dave brought their dog Asia!

    Friday night, my turn to have my daughter one last time (it had been her dad’s turn the night before). I got a little extra-Nicki and Jen slept over as well as Denise. About midnight we had a toast to Denise-coffee and Godiva chocolate liqueur. Hmmmmmm, that warmed us up for sleep.

    Saturday, May 24, 2008. Girls, it’s 7am, time to wake up. Denise-wake me up in 5 more minutes-now where have I heard that before? From that same bed over the last 26 years!!!

    We get up, get our stuff together, and trek over to her Dad’s house. Dennis and I have been divorced for a number of years, but he was gracious enough to open up his house to me for this event.

    Denise’s friend who is also a hair dresser, did our hair, and Denise had to do my make up-I’m not known for doing my make up too well. Finally Denise’s turn to get her hair done. My little girl looks like a princess.

    Finally off to The Carriage House-We all arrive in separate cars. Denise is still getting ready-she looks so beautiful! Everyone is fussing over her. She’s my baby though, and she’s taking it like a trooper-are you nervous? No, just excited!

    We finally are asked to take our places-it starts, Here comes the bride-Oh God, my little girl, a woman now and in just a few moments, a wife. Her dad proudly helps her down the aisle. Denise and Dave only have eyes for each other, they look lovingly into each others eyes and the ceremony begins.

    Halfway through the ceremony, I just happened to look over, past where the bridal party ends. To my delight, standing there, all proud, are the spirits, of my Nannie, Gramps, Gram, Grandpa Noga, Grandpa Vince, Uncle Paul, Aunt Edie, and Uncle Pete, just to name a few. Nannie just looked over at me and smiled and said-did you think we would miss this?

    May I now present you with Mr. and Mrs. David Hill. My daughter and son-in-law. How happy and beautiful they look. I’m just so happy for them and filled with love.

    And let the party begin!!

    The wedding dance-one dedicated to Denise from Dave, and one dedicated to Dave from Denise.All my kids! My daughter, who does not cry, has tears of love and joy running down her cheeks. It was such a beautiful moment. I won’t tell you the rest of that story, but if you see Denise, ask her about reading lips.

    Everyone was dancing, eating, drinking, and just having a good time.

    When I finally left, Denise and Dave were still dancing the night away.

    It was a day to remember-2 people joined together with a love so great.

    To Denise and Dave, bless you both, and may love and happiness always be with you.

    I love you both (and Asia, too-after all, she’s my Granddog)

    Till next time.