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    May 24, 2008


    2008 - 06.25

    Here we go!What a day that was. It marked a day of celebration, love, kindness and so many other things. But before I tell you exactly what went on that day, let me share with you how it all came about.

    Two people met. Now they had seen each other around, after all he was a bartender, she was working and going out with friends. He had seen her in Oxford’s a few times. He had noticed her, she had noticed him. But, you know how it goes, they would say hi, how are you?, and that would be about it. Until the night that he was outside having a smoke, and her sister just happened to be outside along with her! He looked at the sister and told her, you know, I’d really like to get to know you’re sister better.

    Let’s give them names at this point to make it a little easier, he would be Dave, she would be Denise, and the sister would be Susan!

    So, like I was saying, Dave told Susan that he liked Denise and would like to get to know her better. Denise was standing close by and said well, you could just say it to me. The rest, as they say, is history.

    Dave did ask Denise for a date, they went, enjoyed each others company, Then came the eveningFirst Kiss. that I finally got to meet Dave. I’d heard so much about him and all good stuff, too. Don’t you know, Denise picked the evening that I was having a psychic development class. I had about 6 people in the class, so when Denise and Dave walked in, not only did the poor guy have to meet Mom, but also the class. Dave took it well, though. After they had left, I looked at everyone and said, he’s going to be my son-in-law.

    Let’s go forward to the day Dave called me. He asked for my blessing to ask for my daughter’s hand in marriage. I broke down and cried with tears of joy. And I respected Dave for that phone call. It surprised the heck out of me, but it made me very happy. Dave had also called her dad and had done the same thing.

    Then we got the phone call!! Denise is laughing and crying at the same time, saying they were engaged! When I told her Dave had called me, she said that she figures she was the only one that didn’t know. He had taken her to Oxfords that night, so half the bar knew what was going to happen! :)

    Then they set the date-May 24, 2008. Ahh, the preparations start, the dresses, the flowers, the wedding party, the reception place, etc.

    Denise and Dave did all the planning, and I have to tell you, they did a wonderful job.

    The wedding and reception was at The Carriage House in Gates. It’s a beautiful place inside and out.

    Whisper in my ear.Thursday, May 22, the rehearsal-it was the you sit here, you walk there, no not like that, go there, etc. when we all thought we knew, the wedding planner said let’s try it just one more time-and she told us, when you see me nod-just do what I said. We all decided that when she nodded, we’d probably all take off! :)

    Friday, May 23, the rehearsal picnic-yes, a picnic. It was a super idea-we all relaxed and ate and drank! And the best part, Denise and Dave brought their dog Asia!

    Friday night, my turn to have my daughter one last time (it had been her dad’s turn the night before). I got a little extra-Nicki and Jen slept over as well as Denise. About midnight we had a toast to Denise-coffee and Godiva chocolate liqueur. Hmmmmmm, that warmed us up for sleep.

    Saturday, May 24, 2008. Girls, it’s 7am, time to wake up. Denise-wake me up in 5 more minutes-now where have I heard that before? From that same bed over the last 26 years!!!

    We get up, get our stuff together, and trek over to her Dad’s house. Dennis and I have been divorced for a number of years, but he was gracious enough to open up his house to me for this event.

    Denise’s friend who is also a hair dresser, did our hair, and Denise had to do my make up-I’m not known for doing my make up too well. Finally Denise’s turn to get her hair done. My little girl looks like a princess.

    Finally off to The Carriage House-We all arrive in separate cars. Denise is still getting ready-she looks so beautiful! Everyone is fussing over her. She’s my baby though, and she’s taking it like a trooper-are you nervous? No, just excited!

    We finally are asked to take our places-it starts, Here comes the bride-Oh God, my little girl, a woman now and in just a few moments, a wife. Her dad proudly helps her down the aisle. Denise and Dave only have eyes for each other, they look lovingly into each others eyes and the ceremony begins.

    Halfway through the ceremony, I just happened to look over, past where the bridal party ends. To my delight, standing there, all proud, are the spirits, of my Nannie, Gramps, Gram, Grandpa Noga, Grandpa Vince, Uncle Paul, Aunt Edie, and Uncle Pete, just to name a few. Nannie just looked over at me and smiled and said-did you think we would miss this?

    May I now present you with Mr. and Mrs. David Hill. My daughter and son-in-law. How happy and beautiful they look. I’m just so happy for them and filled with love.

    And let the party begin!!

    The wedding dance-one dedicated to Denise from Dave, and one dedicated to Dave from Denise.All my kids! My daughter, who does not cry, has tears of love and joy running down her cheeks. It was such a beautiful moment. I won’t tell you the rest of that story, but if you see Denise, ask her about reading lips.

    Everyone was dancing, eating, drinking, and just having a good time.

    When I finally left, Denise and Dave were still dancing the night away.

    It was a day to remember-2 people joined together with a love so great.

    To Denise and Dave, bless you both, and may love and happiness always be with you.

    I love you both (and Asia, too-after all, she’s my Granddog)

    Till next time.

    Pathways


    2008 - 04.20

    The circle of life-it’s just so fascinating!

    Think of it-we’re created by 2 people, allowed to feel all warm and snuggly in a womb for 9 months. Then we are abruptly pushed out into this new world. We can’t do much of anything for a couple of months. Just eat, sleep, and release waste. Then we start getting it together. We move, we crawl, we walk. Here’s the first day of school-Mom and Dad are standing there crying because we’re not babies anymore. Graduation is here, college or work, career, meeting the right person, settling down, having a baby of our own. Planning weddings, baby showers. Then we slow down, and slow down some more. And one day, our cycle is completed. Then it’s time to start all over again.

    Putting it all down on “paper” it looks so precise. But we all know it isn’t.

    Each thing we do from the time we are a baby till we pass away is filled with choices or pathways, if you will. Just think about the various choices you have made. I believe that if we could see our life as a road map, we would see all these smaller roads shooting off the main one. Some would look well traveled, and others would look brand new. These would be our various possible destinies.

    As a child, I was sure I wanted to be either a scientist, FBI agent, veterinarian, or maybe a school teacher. Being incredibly shy, it would be hard to do any of those things. When I was about 17 or 18, I had made a choice of wanting to be a photographic journalist. My folks wanted me in something less demanding and more solid. They suggested I become a secretary. I balked and ended up working for the Muscular Dystrophy Association as a clerk typist/secretary. Hmmm, seems my balking didn’t do me any good.

    A choice had been made, no, I didn’t want to be a secretary, but I needed a job. So, I ended up doing exactly what I didn’t want to do. Was it a bad thing? Not at all. I made some very good friends with both my co-workers and some of the patients. It is still something near and dear to my heart. I found I enjoyed working with people and helping them.

    From there, I found a job as a data entry clerk-not a lot different from a clerk typist. Then, got married, left NYS, moved back. Got a job at the same electronic distribution place, this time as an expeditor. Got pregnant, quit, had Denise, then Susan, then Paul! Three kids in five years-we didn’t waste any time :)

    Choices again. My husband at the time and I separated. We definitely were not a match made in heaven. But we had made a choice, learned our life lessons from each other and moved on. Enter the next husband a couple of years later. And while that didn’t last, it again showed me more life lessons.

    Pathways-each decision I made was part of my pathway. What if I hadn’t made some of those decisions? Where would I have been? Would I have become a photojournalist, and possibly gone to document a war? Would I have been killed? Would I have met someone from another country and married them, divorced them. How would my life have changed?

    If I had gone to a secretarial school, would I now have a career as an administrative assistant? Would I have even gotten married and had children? Remember I told you I was very shy until I was 32 years old-I didn’t talk to anyone if I could help it. Hey, stop laughing out there-those of you that know me now! :)

    What would have happened to the 3 beautiful children I had if I had done anything differently? Would I have had them? Would I have been childless, traveling all over the world? Would I still be a secretary in a firm that I’d been with for 30 years? Who knows?

    But, the choices I made brought me 2 husbands who taught me things. And it brought me my Denise, Susie, and Paul.

    Ahhh, but here’s the rub-pathways affect us, and when we start having children, we start deciding what pathways we would like them to take.

    Think about you giving birth, and holding your first child for the very first time. You look lovingly into this child’s face and want only the biggest and best for them. You watch them grow, playing with brother or sister, you think, they would make a wonderful teacher. Bringing in a friend or sibling that has gotten hurt, you watch them nurture that child, and you think, a doctor, that’s what they are going to be.

    And sometimes, as parents, we forget that our children have their own pathways to follow. They make the final choices. Not us. We tell them we know what’s best for them. And yes, we have life’s wisdom on our side. But we had to learn it the hard way ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t listen to my folks when they tried to tell me things.

    And then our children our grown-out on their own. Making their own destinies. And all we can do is be here for them if they need us. Yes, we can give them advice, but be prepared, Mom and Dad, they probably won’t take it.

    Denise is getting married to Dave on May 24, 2008-she has a decent job, they live in the city and have opened their house up to brother Paul. I’ll come back to him in a moment.

    Susan and Russ set a date to get married as well. August 13, 2009. They are currently living in Irondequoit. They are saving for a house.

    And then there’s Paul. He’s single, at least I think he is this week! He works long hours. He has a sweat shirt that says something like will rant and rave without cause. And I have to tell you, that is so very true. Within this article, you will find an audio file that is dedicated to my son, Paul.

    Pathways-destinies, choices. Upon hearing the audio file, just remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

    Next time you see the your own life road map, remember that you have made those choices, that you have made the pathway that has brought you here. And that for better or worse, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

    Till next time.

    My Son Paul –

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