The circle of life-it’s just so fascinating!
Think of it-we’re created by 2 people, allowed to feel all warm and snuggly in a womb for 9 months. Then we are abruptly pushed out into this new world. We can’t do much of anything for a couple of months. Just eat, sleep, and release waste. Then we start getting it together. We move, we crawl, we walk. Here’s the first day of school-Mom and Dad are standing there crying because we’re not babies anymore. Graduation is here, college or work, career, meeting the right person, settling down, having a baby of our own. Planning weddings, baby showers. Then we slow down, and slow down some more. And one day, our cycle is completed. Then it’s time to start all over again.
Putting it all down on “paper” it looks so precise. But we all know it isn’t.
Each thing we do from the time we are a baby till we pass away is filled with choices or pathways, if you will. Just think about the various choices you have made. I believe that if we could see our life as a road map, we would see all these smaller roads shooting off the main one. Some would look well traveled, and others would look brand new. These would be our various possible destinies.
As a child, I was sure I wanted to be either a scientist, FBI agent, veterinarian, or maybe a school teacher. Being incredibly shy, it would be hard to do any of those things. When I was about 17 or 18, I had made a choice of wanting to be a photographic journalist. My folks wanted me in something less demanding and more solid. They suggested I become a secretary. I balked and ended up working for the Muscular Dystrophy Association as a clerk typist/secretary. Hmmm, seems my balking didn’t do me any good.
A choice had been made, no, I didn’t want to be a secretary, but I needed a job. So, I ended up doing exactly what I didn’t want to do. Was it a bad thing? Not at all. I made some very good friends with both my co-workers and some of the patients. It is still something near and dear to my heart. I found I enjoyed working with people and helping them.
From there, I found a job as a data entry clerk-not a lot different from a clerk typist. Then, got married, left NYS, moved back. Got a job at the same electronic distribution place, this time as an expeditor. Got pregnant, quit, had Denise, then Susan, then Paul! Three kids in five years-we didn’t waste any time 
Choices again. My husband at the time and I separated. We definitely were not a match made in heaven. But we had made a choice, learned our life lessons from each other and moved on. Enter the next husband a couple of years later. And while that didn’t last, it again showed me more life lessons.
Pathways-each decision I made was part of my pathway. What if I hadn’t made some of those decisions? Where would I have been? Would I have become a photojournalist, and possibly gone to document a war? Would I have been killed? Would I have met someone from another country and married them, divorced them. How would my life have changed?
If I had gone to a secretarial school, would I now have a career as an administrative assistant? Would I have even gotten married and had children? Remember I told you I was very shy until I was 32 years old-I didn’t talk to anyone if I could help it. Hey, stop laughing out there-those of you that know me now!
What would have happened to the 3 beautiful children I had if I had done anything differently? Would I have had them? Would I have been childless, traveling all over the world? Would I still be a secretary in a firm that I’d been with for 30 years? Who knows?
But, the choices I made brought me 2 husbands who taught me things. And it brought me my Denise, Susie, and Paul.
Ahhh, but here’s the rub-pathways affect us, and when we start having children, we start deciding what pathways we would like them to take.
Think about you giving birth, and holding your first child for the very first time. You look lovingly into this child’s face and want only the biggest and best for them. You watch them grow, playing with brother or sister, you think, they would make a wonderful teacher. Bringing in a friend or sibling that has gotten hurt, you watch them nurture that child, and you think, a doctor, that’s what they are going to be.
And sometimes, as parents, we forget that our children have their own pathways to follow. They make the final choices. Not us. We tell them we know what’s best for them. And yes, we have life’s wisdom on our side. But we had to learn it the hard way ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t listen to my folks when they tried to tell me things.
And then our children our grown-out on their own. Making their own destinies. And all we can do is be here for them if they need us. Yes, we can give them advice, but be prepared, Mom and Dad, they probably won’t take it.
Denise is getting married to Dave on May 24, 2008-she has a decent job, they live in the city and have opened their house up to brother Paul. I’ll come back to him in a moment.
Susan and Russ set a date to get married as well. August 13, 2009. They are currently living in Irondequoit. They are saving for a house.
And then there’s Paul. He’s single, at least I think he is this week! He works long hours. He has a sweat shirt that says something like will rant and rave without cause. And I have to tell you, that is so very true. Within this article, you will find an audio file that is dedicated to my son, Paul.
Pathways-destinies, choices. Upon hearing the audio file, just remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Next time you see the your own life road map, remember that you have made those choices, that you have made the pathway that has brought you here. And that for better or worse, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Till next time.
My Son Paul –
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